Written in collaboration with Austin Vetor,  @ vetorphotography  on Instagram. Howdy, Goblins! Today we’re highlighting some of the iconic gay men who populate our favorite games. From touching conversations in a quiet desert town, to giant robot battles, to defending humanity against our enemies, these characters and their stories contribute to a more diverse and entertaining landscape in the video game world.  Single-Player Kim Kitsuragi Disco Elysium Every cop dynamic duo needs a level-headed, competent partner. In Disco Elysium , Kim Kitsuragi — the resident gay detective — takes up that mantle, working alongside the player character and resident bisexual disaster Harrier du Bois. Kim was born and raised in Revachol, where the game takes place, but due to his Seolite descent, he is treated badly by other Revacholians and struggles with his social identity. Despite all this, Kim is now a highly decorated detective who commands respect from his colleagues. Disco Elysium  is a non-traditional RPG where you progress the game through a series of skill and dialogue checks. Whenever you encounter a tricky situation, your skills will speak up to try and sway you. I wonder what your skills will say to you when you discover the “homosexual underground”? Arthur & Stanley Petersen Life is Strange 2 These two lovebirds can be found in a small Arizonan desert community, having either left or been left by their families after coming out. When asked why they chose to live out in the desert, Stanley says, “Because we got tired of people’s bullshit. Things change… but being gay is still dangerous. The end.” Although Arthur and Stanley were forced to leave their lives in the San Francisco Bay Area behind, they seem to have found safety and contentment in their desert home. They have now been together for at least a decade, and their affectionate banter shows how much they genuinely love each other. Revolver Ocelot Metal Gear Solid You cannot have a Metal Gear  game without Revolver Ocelot. He’s just always there , cackling in the background, being villainous, dressed like he walked out of a spaghetti Western and doing tricks with his revolver. Even when you think  you’ve defeated the organization he stood for, it turns out he was actually a double agent for the President, or for killer AIs, or for his long-dead man-crush. In fact, that’s where it all started: somewhere in 1970s Russia, a young Revolver Ocelot watched Big Boss get tortured by his direct superior (who is also gay). This awoke within young Ocelot both a torture fetish and a deep love for Big Boss, and from that point on, everything he’s done has been in service to Big Boss’s ideals. Multiplayer: Competitive Kung Jin Mortal Kombat Although references to Kung Jin’s sexuality in the game are subtle, he was confirmed as gay in a 2015 Twitter post  by the studio’s story and voiceover director, Dominic Cianciolo. This makes Kung Jin the first gay character in the Mortal Kombat fighting game series, and he’s an absolute badass. As a thief turned Shaolin Monk, Jin is a master with both a bow and arrow and a bo staff, making him lethal at both long and short range.  Kung Jin is playable for the first time in Mortal Kombat X , where he fights alongside the other Kombat Kids to protect Earthrealm. Thumb Dolmayan & Ring Freddie Armored Core 6 Amid all the chaos and turmoil of Armored Core VI  — with corporations and mercenary groups running amok on Rubicon, fighting over the alien resource known as Coral — the Liberation Front's spiritual leader Thumb Dolmayan acts as a rallying voice for the planet's downtrodden. It's also quietly called out that his personal attendant, the similarly finger-themed pilot Ring Freddie, is Dolmayan's paramour and confidant.  As is tradition in From Software games, information about characters and events is written in a very deliberate and evocative tone, even when it’s only a sentence or two. What little lore we have about this battle-tested couple paints Freddie as Dolmayan’s protector on the battlefield, while the old man carries the weight of dark knowledge relating to the true nature of Coral… Multiplayer: Co-op Devrim Kay Destiny 2 Devrim Kay is a Guardian of Earth, resident weaponsmith, and tea connoisseur who has been with us since the start of Destiny 2  way back in 2017. Currently serving as a scout in the European Dead Zone — where he hands out bounties for players and organizes the Guardians’ recovery efforts — Devrim has a rather storied past. He once was a member of the City Militia, has crafted many of the weapons used by the remaining Guardians, and was eventually dubbed a Queensguard by Mara Sov, the Awoken Queen. Devrim and his husband Marc also get credit for raising Suraya Hawthorne, a sniper with a rebellious streak who was instrumental in the war against the Red Legion and now spends her time acting as a voice for the non-Guardian members of the Last City.   Osiris and Saint-14 Destiny 2 Okay okay, I know this is the same game, but I just couldn’t leave this pair of badass Guardians out! When the writers confirmed in 2020 that Osiris and Saint-14 are in a romantic relationship, it marked the very first confirmed relationship between two active NPCs in the franchise . While other Destiny characters have been confirmed as queer, those relationships happen offscreen or are merely hinted at through dialogue and lore. But when it comes to these two, we get to see Saint-14, the undead robot Titan, write notes to Osiris, the time-traveling Warlock, where he refers to him lovingly as “my fiery phoenix.” Did we leave something out? Let us know what we missed!

Written in collaboration with Austin Vetor, @ vetorphotography on Instagram. Wake up goblins, it’s PRIDE MONTH! To kick off our celebration, we wanted to share a few of our favorite bisexual icons from the video games we love. Single-Player Dina The Last Of Us Part II Everyone talks about the lesbian icon that is Ellie, but her partner Dina does not get enough love. Dina is an upbeat, pun-loving, intensely loyal young woman who comes from a family of Holocaust survivors and will absolutely wreck some zombies. Her bisexual journey is relatable for many queer players, especially those who may have had to explore their own identities without any clear examples to look up to. Jill Stingray VA-11 Hall-A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action In this cyberpunk visual novel simulation, Jill is a bartender at a small downtown bar that attracts some very interesting characters. She’s also a disaster bi who thirsts after her boss Dana, who is canonically pansexual, while providing an open ear to her clientele - which includes plenty of members of the alphabet mafia. We give this game extra points for its positive representation of sex work through the storyline of Dorothy Haze. Zagreus Hades This roguelike dungeon-crawler allows you to insert yourself into the flaming sandals of the Underworld’s most eligible bachelor. While Zagreus battles to escape his oppressive home and father and find his true family, he must also navigate strained relationships with his two paramours, Megaera and Thanatos. As a bonus, both of these romance options are considered canonical and you can even pursue a polyamorous ending. Multiplayer: Competitive Loki and Star-Lord Marvel Rivals We’ve all seen at least one Marvel movie at some point in our lives. You know who these people are, but I’ll tell you anyway. Loki is the shapeshifting trickster god of Norse mythology and brother to the strongest Avenger, Thor. Throughout his time as a mainstay of the Marvel universe, Loki has bedded characters of several genders while taking a variety of forms. Star-Lord (AKA Peter Quill), ever to live up to the reputation of the universe’s Scoundrel, has no difficulty leaving a trail of broken hearts. He has been in several committed relationships with a variety of species across multiple genders. (Although Loki and Star-Lord haven’t dated each other - yet.) Loba Andrade Apex Legends Our favorite Latina Support Legend, Loba Andrade is a skilled and notorious thief. Between her flirty banter with any and all of her fellow Legends and her relationship with Bangalore (assault girlfriend extraordinaire), Loba stands as the first and arguably best bisexual character in Apex Legends. Multiplayer: Co-op All Romanceable Characters Baldur’s Gate 3 It would be cheating to include every datable character from all our favorite dating sims, but we’d be doing you a disservice if we omit Baldur’s Gate 3. According to the devs themselves, the romanceable NPCs are playersexual , meaning they will respond with the same gusto (if you know what I mean) regardless of your character’s identity. And, unlike many dating sims  story-rich RPGs, this one lets you form a party of up to four players. Axton Borderlands After a coding error led to Axton flirting with all his fellow vault hunters during the revival action (instead of just Maya), players who enjoyed the flirty bisexual insisted it stay. As such, the vault hunter, renegade soldier, and all-around badass can now add “Disaster Bisexual” to his list of titles. This looter-shooter lets you play in both co-op and single-player modes.  Did we leave something out? Let us know what we missed!

Written in collaboration with Austin Vetor,  @ vetorphotography  on Instagram. Video games give us a chance to see ourselves inhabiting – moving through and interacting with – a virtual world that reflects our own reality in some way. When we find characters in these worlds who we identify with, it not only makes the whole experience more immersive, it also makes us feel seen. It can be a source of inspiration, connection, and hope that impacts our real lives. In short: it hits different. This seems especially important for trans players – or even players who are just beginning to explore their own ideas about gender – at a time when the rights of the trans community are directly under threat by the U.S. government.  I hope this set of trans video game characters gives my cisgender audience some perspective, and for my trans Goblins out there – I hope there’s something here that makes you feel seen.  Single-Player Tyler Ronan Tell Me Why Narrative adventure game Tell Me Why  takes place in the fictional Alaskan town of Delos Crossing. It follows twins Tyler and Alyson Ronan as Tyler returns after their mother's mysterious passing – ten years since he last set foot in his hometown. To ensure that Tyler feels authentic and three-dimensional, the game’s developer, DONTNOD Entertainment, worked closely with trans consultants from GLAAD  and included trans people in the creative process. Tyler is even voiced by a trans man – August Aiden  – and the studio ensured that the character is never deadnamed. P.S. Tell Me Why  is free on Steam until July 1 ! Madeline Celeste In this iconic side-scrolling parkour game, protagonist Madeline climbs Mount Celeste in hopes of ridding herself of her anxiety, represented through her spectral double, Badeline. The free DLC expansion Farewell , set a year after the original game, shows Madeline alongside a transgender pride flag. Lead writer and director Maddy Thorson has stated that although she didn’t know that both she and Madeline were trans when she was working on Celeste , it was “painfully obvious”  in hindsight: “Creating Celeste with my friends helped me reach the point where I could realize this truth about myself.” Beauty Nova Pokemon X and Y This one is more trivia than anything, but who doesn’t love a little Pokemon trivia? In Pokemon X/Y , you encounter an NPC named Beauty Nova in the Kalos Battle Maison. Her dialogue implies that she is transgender:  before your battle, she says, “I've recently remade my life completely! I've been reborn as a Beauty at last!” If you then lose to her, she adds, “Yes, a mere half year ago I was a Black Belt! Quite the transformation, wouldn't you say?” In the Pokemon universe, the Black Belt is a Trainer class that is exclusively  male, while Beauties are exclusively female. To take it one step further, in the original Japanese version, her dialogue credits the transformation to “the power of medical science.” Multiplayer: Competitive Poison Street Fighter V Originally appearing as a common enemy in the beat-em-up Final Fight , Poison made her way to the Street Fighter franchise first as a nonplayable character in Street Fighter Alpha 2  and then as a playable character in Ultra Street Fighter IV . Poison was once a Mad Gear gang member. Having moved on from her underground life, she now maintains a stable of wrestlers and runs her own wrestling promotion with her partner, Hugo. Although primarily portrayed as a selfish femme fatale, Poison does have a softer side to her, as she’s shown to be sympathetic to characters with a rough upbringing similar to hers. Orela Rose Dead By Daylight The latest Survivor and horror story fanatic introduced in Chapter 35.5: Steady Pulse, Orela is a support medic whose unique perks let her boost her fellow Survivors and stay quick on her feet, making her a valuable member to the Survivors of DBD . She’s also the first trans woman in the game! Orela was born and raised in Chicago. Orela dropped out of college and became an EMT when her best friend Emily was killed in their haunted house due to faulty wiring. After years as an EMT, Orela eventually opened a horror–themed restaurant in honor of Emily. Little did she know that one day, she would hear screaming from within a mysterious black fog and rush in to help. Now she spends her time searching for those in need of help in the darkness… Bridget GUILTY GEAR –STRIVE– Bridget is a long-time character from the Guilty Gear fighting game franchise who was confirmed as transgender in Strive . Her updated character design includes a trans mark proudly displayed on the forehead of her nun-like habit. In her Arcade Mode mini-story, another character asks if he should call her a “cowboy” or a “cowgirl,” and she replies: “Cowgirl is fine! Because… I’m a girl!”  In an interview with TBS, series creator Daisuke Ishiwatari stated:  “With a subsection of the character roster, I actively tried to represent people who occupy a ‘minority’ position in society. I wanted to portray those characters doing heroic things.” Multiplayer: Co-op Paolo de la Vega Far Cry 6 Once a soldier for the Fuerzas Nacionales de Defensa (the military force in control of Yara), Paolo was kicked out after the drill instructor – his father – discovered he was trans. Eventually Paolo was caught stealing musical equipment from a young musician and freedom fighter named Talia, who decided to give him a DJ deck instead of turning him in. Now, Paolo, the musical revolutionary, is co-leader of the Màximas Matanzas, a faction that fights the good fight against the FND through subversive musical performances. Nocturne Baldur’s Gate 3 Nocturne is a tiefling from the cleric Shadowheart’s past, a fellow worshiper of the evil deity Shar. As you interact with Nocturne, you learn that she is the “young tiefling boy” of Shadowheart’s unlocked memories. You can also find an old journal entry that reveals a touching story about Shadowheart’s staunch allyship during Nocturne’s transition journey. Nocturne is voiced by Abigail Thorn , who points out that while Nocturne provides a much-needed icon of hope that trans women will continue to exist , we still have a long way to go: “The thing about Nocturne is that she comes with the label and she can never take it off – she’s ‘The Trans Character’ and that’s close to the sum of her raison d'être in the minds of many. I don’t think that’s the writers’ fault or anything, it’s just an inevitable consequence of where we are right now, sociopolitically speaking. Whereas real people like you and me, we’re many things: I’m a daughter, a sister, an auntie, an actress, a voter, a businesswoman, a writer – and I happen to also be trans.” Did we leave something out? Let us know what we missed!

Hi, I’m Lise, perpetual third wheel, endlessly optimistic romantic, and now, the founder of Goblins! I’ve always been creative in searching for my person. From attempting to outsmart algorithms to freeing people from Rose Jails, traditional methods had mixed results. So— I let the NY Post set me up on a blind date ; used pick-up limes ; and volunteered to paint a nursing home… sadly I was the only one who didn’t have a mandatory community service sheet to be signed at the end. Most recently, I’ve even had friends manage my dating apps. If you know, you know, the dating apps are like, really, really bad... and it sucks to be at the mercy of them. Despite Best Efforts I know what it feels like to carry loneliness in your bones. Simple Plan's lyric “I’ve got a lot of friends, but I don’t hear from them” hits differently as an adult. It’s not anyone’s fault—life gets busy, people have their own commitments, and whether you’re single or partnered, loneliness just has a way of sneaking in. In June of 2023, I had an idea There HAD to be a better way to use the internet to meet people. So, I decided I’d create a profile about myself… and the kind of people I was looking to meet. Think: a gamer friend application/ dating doc . If I caught anyone’s eye, they could use Calendly to schedule a time to meet up in World of Warcraft and we’d play while voice chatting. I’d initially planned to film a TikTok series but I soon realized this had more potential than just a social experiment for my dating life. The premise—a refreshingly different, lower-pressure way to intentionally find connection and belonging—didn’t just apply to romantic relationships. This had the potential to help people of all kinds forge meaningful connections, from finding new gaming pals to building lifelong friendships. This realization marked a shift What started as Date Like Goblins , a dating tool for gamers, has since evolved into what we're colloquially calling Goblins , a space designed to help all gamers connect—romantically or otherwise. It’s been a natural expansion that reflects our belief that intentional connections, no matter the type, are the foundation of a fulfilling life. Whether you’re LGBTQIA+, neurospicy, introverted, and/or just not into the usual ‘swipe-right’ scene, Goblins is a space where you’re not simply accepted, but celebrated for who you are. We thrive on the diversity of our members and the unique ways we all seek to connect. Our OGs (original Goblins) have been instrumental in helping us develop our early platform, and we look forward to continuing to build with and for our community. If you’re excited about what we’re creating, pop into the beta and join our Discord , and/or subscribe to this blog. It’d be an honor to have you join the Goblin movement! Chaos and Cheetos,

As the founder of a social platform that emphasizes authentic connection, it feels important to formally introduce myself and give a glimpse into who I am. So hello, hi, howdy! I’m Lise (pronounced like " new lease on life" ) and... I was a horse girl growing up, and frogs were my favorite animal It took two tries to get my driver's license I set a morning alarm for a little earlier than I have to actually wake up– it makes me so happy seeing I have more time to sleep. <- I realize it’s absolutely unhinged but I stand behind it Nostalgic tech is one of my favorite things to bond with people over: AIM, Encarta CDs, Day of the Tentacle, Chex Quest, Furbys, Tamagotchis, etc. I used to Venmo request friends $.75 for Art. When they accepted (often months later), they be sent a photo of themselves riding a possum Little me, playing Math Blaster When I was 15, I took a Seventeen Magazine quiz in the back of my dad’s car- it was titled something like What Should You Be When You Grow Up. Based on my results, the recommendations were zookeeper, event planner, or PR exec. And the rest, as they say, was history: As a junior publicist I was able to use $12k to prank an entire city, resulting in the client getting 638M media impressions in 3 days. Any guesses as to which one that was? Later in my PR agency days, I was Hinge’s first publicist and eventually snagged them coverage in The New York Times , TIME , and Glamour . I ideated partnering with Mashable for Bill Nye Explains Using Emoji for a GE project. The video got half a billion media impressions and was later referenced as an answer in the New York Times ’ crossword. My absolute favorite job was working as head of PR for Shapeways. I fell in love with the intersection of tech and all-things community after delving deeply into the Warhammer space. A decade into my career, my dad passed away and I found myself grappling with the existential crisis of life, love, and purpose. Practically comatose with grief, I quit my job to figure out what should come next– personally and professionally. It took a while, but after ideating Goblins , I started waking up feeling inspired again. At the intersection of my personal and professional strengths and passions, Goblins also felts like something that could make the world a little better for a lot of people. And so, I've been pet sitting around the country while (mostly) bootstrapping bringing the platform to life. My team's and my goal? Be able to pay ourselves to work on Goblins full-time while building for and with our community . It's no secret I have feelings about the Match Group and other dating apps out there, so we're also carefully architecting the platform to avoid enshittification– more on that later, I promise. I'm always in our Discord (@LadybugLise) so please feel free to jump into our server and say hello, ask questions, or share some quality memes with the team and I! Me, riding a giant possum. Popular photo on dating apps (=gets a lot of questions).

OkCupid appears to be self-destructing and as someone who LOVED the personality-first, questions-heavy profiles, this makes me super, super sad. My personality is WAY better than my photos so image-first dating apps with bite-sized profiles (if any) really aren't my jam. It took a bit, but I realized using the "perfect" pictures or the "coolest" bio didn't work. What does? Embracing your quirky, funny, and unapologetic self... even if that means looking a little uh... unHinged. 🥁💥 Screenshots from my Hinge profile, wow such chaos. Whether short (Bumble, Tinder, etc) or long ( Goblins , Firefly , OkCupid)– your profile is your bat signal. Help your people to find you…and actively weed out anyone that thinks you're weird/too much/etc. You'd find them too normal/dull for you anyway! :D The best part? You make it so much easier for people to message you because they have something to respond/react/ask you about! Here are my tips for authoring an awesome profile that does you justice (no matter how introverted or self-conscious you are): Be authentic, looking cool be damned Really. Looking cool is so high school. And high school sucked, so no more of that. While it's tempting to describe what you should have on your profile, you want to find the people who will embrace the real you, not the ideal version of yourself. So lean into it! What’s your perfect day-off look like? I might want to put: Go for a hike and then hit up a brewery! Instead, I’m writing: Set my alarm for a reasonable time, probably turn it off and sleep in a little bit longer. Yelp an awesome diner or locate a spot for the best [cinnamon roll, baked bread, etc.] and take a road-trip to it. Use Atlas Obscura to find any worthwhile detours and/or look for some thrift shops and see who can spot the weirdest thing in there. End the day with a movie night on the couch or assemble some friends for board games. Progress over perfection Your profile doesn’t have to be Shakespearean. Start with whatever you feel represents who you are, even if it's just a list of facts about yourself– you can edit if/when inspiration strikes later. We have a ton of quirky, fun prompts you can answer on Goblins but here are some ideas for any “Meet Our Hero/About Me” section. When I have free time I like to… Something I’m really good at / proud of is… I spend a lot of time thinking about… A guilty pleasure of mine is… One thing that never fails to put me in a good mood is… You can always count on me to… [Talk about your pets!] I work as a [insert what you do here] but I feel like in a multiverse, I’m a [enter whatever you think you might be doing here!] One thing I’m oddly passionate about is… Something I wish more people knew about me is… I like to collect… The best advice I’ve ever received is… A habit or ritual I can’t go without is… Don't overthink it As the queen of overthinking, know this is easier said than done- but remember, your profile doesn't need to impress or convince anyone you’re interesting. Glimpses into who you are and what makes you unique will resonate with the right people, so just start by writing something. P.S. If you think we'd get along, send me a game invite on Goblins . My username is Lise 💚

Having reviewed hundreds of thousands of dating app profiles over the last decade both personally and professionally, I’ve identified why profiles aren’t successful. From the obvious to the subtle, here are the most common reasons your profile isn’t getting matches: Overall no-to-low effort profiles- I’d say this covers the majority of profiles on the apps. Those that contain anything along the lines of “not sure what to put so just ask!” or “idk, will fill this out later” scream “I’m just here to look at other people’s profiles”. Remember, would you be happy if all the profiles you looked at had the same level of effort yours did? Unlikely. Here are my tips on authoring a better one! A bad profile has the bare minimum of detail, the better one has Photos-only- A bit redundant from the above, but worth double-clicking into. I don’t care how strong your face card is, if there’s nothing besides photos in your profile to react to, it’s an immediate pass. Nothing substantial- Is there anything especially personal about your profile or does it feel like it could apply to half the population? Ie: “I love to laugh” or “I like to hang with friends”. Your wish list- If your profile is spent talking about what you do and don’t want in a partner, delete it and write something about yourself. Self-Critical- I’m all about putting your most authentic self forward but don’t trash-talk yourself. Describing yourself as “depressed”, “boring”, or complaining about your lack of success with online dating are red flags. You can’t expect a good response from potential partners if your first impression is self-loathing. Weird/unflattering photos- Realize this one can be difficult but definitely do a photo audit (there are SO many articles about this ). Mixed messages- Are you 43 years old saying you’d like to have kids but are still “figuring it out”/“looking for casual/short-term” but “open to long-term”? While it might be tempting to cast your net and attract connections of all kinds, this isn’t going to resonate super well (especially if you’re a cis-gender, straight man). Perplexingly bad usernames, content, etc: Why have you chosen a username like WetShart49? Don’t put anything off-putting, gross, crass in your profile even if you’re doing it to be “funny”, no one’s going to get the joke (whatever it is). It can be frustrating to author a dating profile when you’re introverted or don’t feel conventionally attractive but remember— if you put personality and effort into it, you’re already a breath of fresh air! Here are my tips on maximizing your profile— and if you’re still stuck, feel free to ask for some recs in the #Profile-Feedback channel on the Goblins’ Discord .

Early on in the Goblins journey, I took on the role of profile gatekeeper—partly to avoid surprises (read: d*ck pics) but also as quality control. This isn’t about exclusivity… trust me, we’re basically the anti-Raya. Instead, it’s about creating a space where effort and authenticity thrive. As Chief Goblin Officer, I feel responsible for ensuring Goblins have a shot at meaningful connections when on the platform. And part of this process is only approving profiles that reflect thoughtfulness and effort. Why? Many folks forget that getting good results require good effort put in. It’s tempting to slap together a bare-bones profile just to “see what’s out there,” but this leads to two things: Frustration when their profiles don’t inspire matches or messages. A subpar experience for everyone else scrolling through uninspired profiles . At Goblins, our mantra is simple: Have the Profile You Wish to See on the Apps. Effort is attractive, and the energy you put into your profile creates the foundation for real connections. That’s why we ask users to add some personality before entering the Goblinverse. If they choose not to? That’s okay—they’re probably not the right fit. #SorryNotSorry So, when crafting your profile—on Goblins or elsewhere—ask yourself: What kind of connection am I looking for? And does my profile invite it? P.S. We know that writing about yourself is tough (especially if you’re an introvert) so here’s some advice that might help! Garbage attracts garbage!

My dating track record has always felt supernaturally  bad—like, “friends perk up at brunch when they hear I’m back on the apps because the stories are that jaw-dropping” bad. And it’s not for lack of screening. No matter how discerning I’ve been, my dating life has consistently played out like a romantic comedy... just very light on the romance. There was the guy on a second FaceTime date who talked non-stop for 45 minutes, and when I finally excused myself, he protested, "But I didn’t tell you about my amulet—I tried blood magic, and it actually worked!" Then there was the first date who explained over dinner that he couldn’t drink alcohol because, in high school, a vial containing a mysterious virus  broke in his science class, and that  was one of the lingering side effects. That same man also confessed to having an ice cream fetish before the night ended, we hadn’t even so much as hugged. And how could I forget the guy who swiped right because my profile said, "I know what I’m doing 80% of the time,"  but then over drinks told me he was disappointed I hadn’t meant it literally—because he was in the middle of a life experiment  where he scheduled his entire existence in 15-minute increments for three months. Yes, I immediately called bullshit and asked to see his calendar. He wasn’t lying, he even scheduled his pooping. He also didn’t like dogs. And those are just the ones that immediately come to mind. It. Has. Been. Brutal. But recently, it struck me: without a decade of the universe throwing these absurd experiences my way, I wouldn’t have been able to conceptualize  Date Like Goblins. It was out of sheer desperation that I finally took a step back and thought, "There has to be a better way to meet people online—one that doesn’t involve these ridiculous IRL encounters."  If my dating life is going to be a train wreck, I’d at least rather navigate it while playing games—without having to leave my house or look cute. After quitting my job in 2022, I tried doing stand-up comedy for the first (and last) time, and my bit began with my horrible dating experiences. So full circle! That’s why building Goblins has been such a labor of love. We’re tackling problems I feel in my bones: loneliness, the broken dating space, and the challenges of socializing as a neurospicy human with limited spoons. As a founder, I think constantly about dating and human connection—how dating apps have evolved (ahem, been enshittified), how dating culture has shifted, the psychology behind how we bond, and how Goblins can address these challenges at their core. All that reflection led me to a theory I call The Potato Chip Problem —my take on the devolution of modern dating. More on that in my next post—stay tuned!

I spend a lot of time reflecting on my comedically bad dating track record. While it’s provided no shortage of entertaining stories, I genuinely believe it’s the reason I could ideate Goblins—it’s given me a front-row seat to how dating has evolved (and in many ways, devolved). Looking back on my bad dates over the last fifteen years, dating was always challenging—but the wheels used to fall off later down the funnel. People at least put in some effort: there was a shared intention to meet, clear plans were made, and conversations were two-sided. It wasn’t always great, but it took longer for things to go off the rails. Now, for whatever reason, the bad dating experience happens right off the jump. With thousands of options at our fingertips and the illusion of endless choice, effort has collapsed at the earliest stages. Profiles are low-effort and devoid of substance. Matches turn into dead-end conversations where responses trickle in but no questions are asked in return. If a date is suggested, it’s vague and non-committal: "We should do something sometime."  And when dates do  happen, it’s become uncomfortably common for cisgender straight men to walk away thinking they had an excellent date—completely unaware that their date asked all the questions and did all the listening. They’re then baffled when they don’t get a second date, the cycle continues, and they become resentful they're not having any success. Of course, this perspective is rooted in my personal experiences, as well as those of women in my network, and across TikTok. But the pattern is hard to ignore and it's why we insist on hand-approving profiles at Goblins to screen for substance in a profile-- much to the chagrin of some unhappy people. And psst, no we don't base it on photos. "Ok, but I added what I’m mainly looking for, why does that even matter? Shouldn’t it just be enough that my profile isn’t inappropriate? Other apps approve profiles immediately if they don’t break the rules. Plus, you’re just making more work for yourself by being this strict." - Someone who's profile was not approved I’ve spent some time reflecting on why dating feels so broken, and I've identified a phenomenon that I'm calling the Potato Chip Theory . Imagine dating as a potluck dinner. The majority of attendees nowadays? They're showing up with a bag of potato chips- bare minimum, low-effort. And yet, they're frustrated when people who brought deviled eggs (in this economy!) or hamburgers aren't interested in engaging. The audacity and entitlement are incredible, why would someone who invested time and effort want to share with someone who didn't think it was worth bringing more to the table (literally and figuratively)? What’s worse, is when the folks who brought potato chips are also indignant that everyone else brought potato chips. Why is the selection so disappointing? Because you and everyone else opted for the lowest-effort option! Again, a baffling lack of self-awareness—expecting a five-course meal while offering nothing but a bag of chips. And no, that Marilyn Monroe "If you can't handle me at my worst..." quote doesn’t apply here. No one’s interested in investing in what you could bring to the table when the starting point is... nothing. This is why at Goblins we don't care when people get angry when we insist on hand-approving all profiles. Honestly? We’re proud of that (and I like irritating over-inflated egos). Sure, it definitely creates more work for me and my team, but we want Goblins to be known for having a quality, engaged community. We’re exclusively inclusive — kind of like Raya, except we don’t care about how hot you are or how many followers you have. We just require putting in a little effort for the people you’re hoping to meet.

Fish pics were famously the most hated type of photo on dating apps, with  Tinder even joking about officially banning them .  Thankfully, they’ve become a rare species (at least in my swiping experience). But fear not, a new contender has emerged. And dare I say, it might be even more cringe than its fishy predecessor. Bug pics. These are selfies taken from bizarre, unflattering angles—always with the guy looking down  at the camera. The expressions vary, but are generally vacant stares, vaguely menacing frowns (a failed attempt at Blue Steel?), or a smirk that’s more unsettling than charming. The result? The point of view of a bug that’s about to get squished. Our Founder Lise recreating actual photos from men on the apps A different angle/expression does wonders So y'all, please replace those. They’re weird and not your best angle (by far).  Want to optimize your social profiles and socialize better online and offline? Check out Goblins University for a wealth of insider advice – we have an entire session on upgrading your photo game. We even share a life hack for folks that think they don’t photograph well.

To ensure all Goblins have a good experience, we hand-approve everyone's profiles because we're only as good as the collective Goblins on it ( no potato chip potlucks here! ). ~39% Goblins get approved on the first go but that means ~61% get email from me with some tips for improvement. After seeing A LOT of profiles, we figured show vs. tell on what makes a quality profile. Remember, how would you feel having to browse through hundreds of lukewarm, generic profiles? It wouldn't be fun, which means yours can't be one of those either! EXAMPLE 1- The Tired Goblin “I play Valorant and League. I don’t really go out much. I guess I’m just looking for someone chill." "I’m the kind of person who gets way too emotionally invested in fictional characters and will pause a co-op game just to point out the cool lighting. I’m happiest when I’m deep in a good story—whether it’s a fantasy novel, a chaotic D&D campaign, or just life talks at 2am. I’m a recovering perfectionist with a soft spot for bad puns, people who overuse parentheses (like me), and chaotic good energy. Looking to meet someone who’s kind, curious, and totally down for late-night voice chats that start with memes and end with existential philosophy." EXAMPLE 2- The Jaded Goblin “Whatever. I’ve tried this dating crap and it never goes anywhere. People say they want something real but only swipe for looks. If you’re actually different, then you can ask me stuff. I’m not gonna waste time writing an essay no one reads." “Yeah, I’ve had a rough time with dating apps. And I’ve definitely felt invisible in rooms full of people claiming they want connection. But the truth is—I do want to be seen. Not just for how I look, but for who I am. I’m not here to prove I’m worth it to strangers. I already know I am. I’m not everyone’s type, and that’s a relief. I’d rather wait for someone who reads this and gets it than keep pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m into sci-fi novels that make me cry, playlists that ruin your productivity, and cooking elaborate breakfasts at night because I can’t sleep. I’m sarcastic, loyal, and way better at listening than talking about myself. If you’re tired of performative dating and just want something that feels real, same.” EXAMPLE 3- The Sad Goblin “I don’t really know what to say here. No one ever messages me first. I guess I’m just not what people are looking for.” “I’m not great at first impressions, but I get better the longer you stick around. I’m the type who remembers your favorite comfort snack and sends you weird facts I know you’ll like. A little awkward, a little quiet, but I care deeply and feel a lot. I read way too much sci-fi and graphic novels, bake when I’m anxious (cookies are my coping mechanism), and have a playlist for every kind of mood—including ‘songs to cry to in the shower.’ I’ll always be down for a cozy co-op game, a midnight walk, or just sitting in silence with someone who gets it. If you’re someone who sees the quiet ones and wonders what’s going on under the surface—I’m probably your people.” If you're really stuck... Still need help? Ok, ok. If you're really stumped, you can always turn to ChatGPT for help. Try using this prompt : Can you interview me to help write a dating profile blurb (650+ characters) for a platform where people connect through video games? Please ask me thoughtful, unexpected questions that will help surface interesting parts of my personality, how I connect with people, and what makes me a good date or friend. Once I answer your questions, write a bio in my voice that feels authentic and human—avoid sounding generic or like a template. Then of course make some tweaks so that you feel like it's reflective of your voice, tone, etc. And yes, if you MUST, you can also ask ChatGPT to help with that too (ie: please make it sound less cheesy, focus on sounding more informative than witty, etc).