So… I played my first game ever and I have THOUGHTS

Soo… I think this is the official moment where I say that my journey into becoming a gamer has actually begun.

Which feels slightly insane to say out loud, because if you read my previous blog post, you already know that up until very recently, my entire experience with gaming was… watching my brother rage at games and thinking “that looks stressful, I will pass.”

And yet here we are.

As I mentioned before, my boss Lise told me to start with Palia, and I trusted her recommendation, not at all aware that this decision would immediately spiral into me becoming slightly obsessed.

The moment I opened the game and realized… oh no

The music situation = an unexpected emotional attachment??

Because the moment I opened the game, before I even understood what I was supposed to do, before I clicked anything, the first thing that hit me was the music, and I don’t think people talk about this enough, but the music and sounds?? It was so good that I actually paused for a second just to listen, which is not something I expected to do in my first ever gaming experience.

And this is dangerous for me specifically, because I have a very well-documented history of becoming emotionally attached to soundtracks, to the point where I have entire Spotify playlists dedicated only to movie scores, so the second I heard that background music, I had a very clear realization that I might soon become the type of person who has a separate playlist just for game soundtracks.

Which feels like a personality shift.

Character creation took… longer than expected

Identity crisis but make it cute

Then we move on to the visuals, which I was not prepared for at all, because I get to create my own character like that, with full control over hairstyles, makeup, and outfits, like I lost track of time just sitting there, clicking through options, trying to decide who I want to be in this world, which is already a slightly existential question if you think about it for too long.

At some point I realized I had spent more than half an hour just choosing what to wear, and instead of being concerned, I was like… no, this makes sense, this feels correct, this is part of the process.

Needed 30 minutes to choose an outfit… just a girl.

But look how cute I look, right?? Also, why are the prettiest dresses not free?? I would like to discuss this.

Why are these NPCs nicer than real people

Why do I feel more welcomed here than IRL??

Once I finally entered the world, something else happened that I did not expect at all, which is that the people there were… nice, helping me, explaining things, guiding me, and I just kept thinking how strange it is that when I moved into my real apartment, nobody appeared out of nowhere to walk me through life and make sure I’m doing okay. But here, in a game I just opened five minutes ago, I already have a super cozy support system. Can I stay here forever??

That’s when it started clicking for me, very slowly, that gaming is about being in a space where interaction feels easier, softer, less forced, which honestly explains a lot about why people choose to socialize this way instead of through traditional platforms. I get it now guys.

I started chopping trees and had a minor life realization. Why was this… therapeutic?

I got lost. Completely. No regrets.

I had things to do, but curiosity said no

I was also supposed to find someone who would teach me how to hunt and catch bugs, which I fully intended to do, but somehow I got completely distracted by just existing in the world, running around, stopping every few seconds because something caught my attention, like “wait look at this,” and “what is that,” and “why is everything so pretty,” and before I knew it, I had absolutely no idea where I was or where I was supposed to go.

I took a picture of myself, look how pretty everything is!!

I was literally walking in circles. And still enjoying it btw, which I think says everything.

The hunting situation (emotionally complicated)

I did it… but at what cost

Eventually, I did finally find Hassian and figured out the hunting part. And while I understand that it’s part of the game and necessary and normal, I also had a small internal crisis about it, because I just met these creatures and now I’m supposed to attack them, which felt slightly personal, and I’m not entirely sure how to emotionally process that yet.

So that’s something I will be unpacking later.

Why this experience actually surprised me

But overall, I think what surprised me the most is not even the gameplay itself, but the feeling of it all, because I went into this thinking I would just try something new for the sake of it, maybe struggle a bit, maybe laugh at myself, and instead I ended up feeling calm, curious, and weirdly present in a way I did not expect.

Like I now GET IT why people love gaming.

And I didn’t expect to finish my first gaming session and immediately think, I want to go back, which feels like a very important development in my journey.

So yes, I would say this was a very successful first game, even though I still don’t fully know what I’m doing, and I definitely have a lot more to explore.

And this whole experience made something very clear to me, games already feel like social spaces, and the only thing missing is making those connections a bit more intentional and easier to navigate, which is exactly what Goblins is trying to do by helping people meet and spend time together inside the games they already love.

So if anyone wants to experience this chaos with me, I will be there, and we can play some Palia together!