Bad Social Profiles Are Self-Sabotage

To ensure all Goblins have a good experience, we hand-approve everyone's profiles because we're only as good as the collective Goblins on it (no potato chip potlucks here!).

~39% Goblins get approved on the first go but that means ~61% get email from me with some tips for improvement. After seeing A LOT of profiles, we figured show vs. tell on what makes a quality profile.

Remember, how would you feel having to browse through hundreds of lukewarm, generic profiles? It wouldn't be fun, which means yours can't be one of those either!

EXAMPLE 1- The Tired Goblin

“I play Valorant and League. I don’t really go out much. I guess I’m just looking for someone chill."

"I’m the kind of person who gets way too emotionally invested in fictional characters and will pause a co-op game just to point out the cool lighting. I’m happiest when I’m deep in a good story—whether it’s a fantasy novel, a chaotic D&D campaign, or just life talks at 2am. I’m a recovering perfectionist with a soft spot for bad puns, people who overuse parentheses (like me), and chaotic good energy. Looking to meet someone who’s kind, curious, and totally down for late-night voice chats that start with memes and end with existential philosophy."

EXAMPLE 2- The Jaded Goblin

“Whatever. I’ve tried this dating crap and it never goes anywhere. People say they want something real but only swipe for looks. If you’re actually different, then you can ask me stuff. I’m not gonna waste time writing an essay no one reads."

“Yeah, I’ve had a rough time with dating apps. And I’ve definitely felt invisible in rooms full of people claiming they want connection. But the truth is—I do want to be seen. Not just for how I look, but for who I am. I’m not here to prove I’m worth it to strangers. I already know I am. I’m not everyone’s type, and that’s a relief. I’d rather wait for someone who reads this and gets it than keep pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m into sci-fi novels that make me cry, playlists that ruin your productivity, and cooking elaborate breakfasts at night because I can’t sleep. I’m sarcastic, loyal, and way better at listening than talking about myself. If you’re tired of performative dating and just want something that feels real, same.”

EXAMPLE 3- The Sad Goblin

“I don’t really know what to say here. No one ever messages me first. I guess I’m just not what people are looking for.”

“I’m not great at first impressions, but I get better the longer you stick around. I’m the type who remembers your favorite comfort snack and sends you weird facts I know you’ll like. A little awkward, a little quiet, but I care deeply and feel a lot. I read way too much sci-fi and graphic novels, bake when I’m anxious (cookies are my coping mechanism), and have a playlist for every kind of mood—including ‘songs to cry to in the shower.’ I’ll always be down for a cozy co-op game, a midnight walk, or just sitting in silence with someone who gets it. If you’re someone who sees the quiet ones and wonders what’s going on under the surface—I’m probably your people.”

If you're really stuck...

Still need help? Ok, ok. If you're really stumped, you can always turn to ChatGPT for help. Try using this prompt :

Can you interview me to help write a dating profile blurb (650+ characters) for a platform where people connect through video games? Please ask me thoughtful, unexpected questions that will help surface interesting parts of my personality, how I connect with people, and what makes me a good date or friend. Once I answer your questions, write a bio in my voice that feels authentic and human—avoid sounding generic or like a template.

Then of course make some tweaks so that you feel like it's reflective of your voice, tone, etc. And yes, if you MUST, you can also ask ChatGPT to help with that too (ie: please make it sound less cheesy, focus on sounding more informative than witty, etc).