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Why your dating profile sucks... and how to fix it

Writer's picture: LiseLise

Having reviewed hundreds of thousands of dating app profiles over the last decade both personally and professionally, I’ve identified why profiles aren’t successful. From the obvious to the subtle, here are the most common reasons your profile isn’t getting matches:


  • Overall no-to-low effort profiles- I’d say this covers the majority of profiles on the apps. Those that contain anything along the lines of “not sure what to put so just ask!” or “idk, will fill this out later” scream “I’m just here to look at other people’s profiles”. Remember, would you be happy if all the profiles you looked at had the same level of effort yours did? Unlikely. Here are my tips on authoring a better one!


A bad profile has the bare minimum of detail, the better one has
A bad profile has the bare minimum of detail, the better one has


  • Photos-only- A bit redundant from the above, but worth double-clicking into. I don’t care how strong your face card is, if there’s nothing besides photos in your profile to react to, it’s an immediate pass.

  • Nothing substantial- Is there anything especially personal about your profile or does it feel like it could apply to half the population? Ie: “I love to laugh” or “I like to hang with friends”.

  • Your wish list- If your profile is spent talking about what you do and don’t want in a partner, delete it and write something about yourself.

  • Self-Critical- I’m all about putting your most authentic self forward but don’t trash-talk yourself. Describing yourself as “depressed”, “boring”, or complaining about your lack of success with online dating are red flags. You can’t expect a good response from potential partners if your first impression is self-loathing.

  • Weird/unflattering photos- Realize this one can be difficult but definitely do a photo audit (there are SO many articles about this).

  • Mixed messages- Are you 43 years old saying you’d like to have kids but are still “figuring it out”/“looking for casual/short-term” but “open to long-term”? While it might be tempting to cast your net and attract connections of all kinds, this isn’t going to resonate super well (especially if you’re a cis-gender, straight man).

  • Perplexingly bad usernames, content, etc: Why have you chosen a username like WetShart49? Don’t put anything off-putting, gross, crass in your profile even if you’re doing it to be “funny”, no one’s going to get the joke (whatever it is).


It can be frustrating to author a dating profile when you’re introverted or don’t feel conventionally attractive but remember— if you put personality and effort into it, you’re already a breath of fresh air! Here are my tips on maximizing your profile— and if you’re still stuck, feel free to ask for some recs in the #Profile-Feedback channel on the Goblins’ Discord.

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